1. During your ceremony, hold your kiss for a few seconds.
I mean, don’t go crazy. And please, we beg you, no tongue. But many couples get nervous or self-conscious about kissing in front of literally everyone they know, (which is totally understandable), so they zip in and out like their new spouse has cooties. As your guests are at the reception, nobody should have to say “Did they kiss? I never saw it!”.
2. As you’re exiting your ceremony, stop about half way down the aisle, face each other and kiss.
If you’re feeling fancy, do a dip. The reality is that most ceremony first-kiss pictures are okay at best: the officiants face is usually right there and it’s hard to capture the celebratory feel. So, pro tip: as you’re walking back down the aisle, pause and kiss one more time. Why? This creates an outstanding picture opportunity with your guests celebrating all around you. It also gives you reason to pause and savor the moment just a little longer, rather than rushing out. Plus, your guests will love it.
3. Get a wedding-email address*
Right now, you likely both have separate email addresses. This either causes challenges as you try and remember whose email has that important note from your vendor or it places the entire burden of planning on one partner. Instead, create a joint email address for the two of you. We were given this advice and created one with the word “wedding” right in it. Don’t do that. We still use this email for joint expenses, bank accounts, etc. — so for all eternity we are stuck with this obnoxious wedding email.
4. Accept that some things won’t go according to plan.
And be okay with that. You have two goals: A. get married and B. have a good time. Everything else is ancillary. The weather, your clothes, the flowers, your cousin’s antics. See also: You can have a clean dress or a fun day, but you can’t have both.
5. Have water and snacks on hand.
One of the most common problem points for wedding parties is that everyone gets so focused on the schedule and events that they forget to eat and stay hydrated. Then suddenly you’re celebrating the ceremony and not only is everyone starving, now those first few drinks are going to hit extra hard. Wherever you are getting ready and waiting for the ceremony, be sure someone is in charge of stockpiling some water bottles and quick snacks. Bonus points if you organize someone to bring in sandwiches or a heartier lunch option.
6. Tailor your decorations and details to who you are as a couple.
Despite what Pinterest may have you believe, nobody leaves a wedding saying “Wow, I loved how the wedding was so wedding-themed! I love nondescript decorations!” Plus, at the end of this, you can end up with piles of decorations, centerpieces, and knick knacks that mean nothing. Nobody wants to decorate their house our apartment with wedding-themed items. The most fun weddings I’ve been to have felt genuinely unique to that couple. If you love hiking, lean into that. If you love movies, work with that.
7. Get all the wedding-job stuff done early.
One reasons many couples emerge from their wedding experience stressed and exhausted is that their schedule prevents them from being present with their guests. See also: The Best Wedding Schedule.
8. Yes, it’s your day (and don’t forget that!) but remember your guests.
Many of us, myself included, will parrot the it’s your day! advice until we are blue in the face (and for good reason). But don’t ignore the experience of your guests. As you plan, think about the day from their perspective. The best example of this is that space between the ceremony and dinner: countless couples go off on multi-hour excursions in their stretch limo, leaving their guests idling and hungry with nothing but some cheese and cracker trays. And then when you finally arrive, they have to sit through a drunken grand entrance and a few other hoops until they can finally eat. It’s okay to lean into the day being yours, just don’t forget about the other people.
9. Watch out for the wedding tax.
When my wife and I were exploring venues, we had an experience that pretty well characterizes this phenomenon. We met with a venue that required we use their in-house catering (not a problem). The representative was kind and attentive and showed us their menu and pricing options. At one point one of us mentioned our wedding, at which point the woman paused, then said “Oh, this is for a wedding! Congratulations! Let me go get our special wedding catering options.” She came back with a more polished version of that same menu, but the same chicken dinner that was 14.99 a plate on the default was now 34.99 a plate. This is the wedding tax.
A 2021 study revealed that “the average percent difference associated with a product being designated as wedding was 53.68% higher than non-wedding products.” [Source]
10. Bring comfortable shoes.
This one might be obvious, but it always surprises me how many brides and grooms stubbornly insist on sabotaging their feet by spending hours dancing in formal footwear. You’re going to be on the move a lot on your wedding day. Whether we’re out taking fun pictures in a grassy field or you’re busting a move on the dance floor, you’ll be grateful to have a pair of comfy these-can-get-grimy shoes. My wife wore the leopard print variation of these bad boys for the entire day. Not a single person noticed. In contrast, I stubbornly insisted on staying in my rigid dress shoes and had to spend an inordinate amount of time polishing grime, food, and spilled drink residue off of them.